TEAMS IN THIS SERIES (Yeah)
IT’S YOUR BIG DAY (Woo)
INCREDIBLE JOB
I KNOW WE’VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES
BUT TODAY
THE DOLLHOUSE JUST WANTS TO TELL YOU
Sweet Roxy, Jonetta Stone, and DiVa are shown sitting at a table with a large cake on it as they’re surrounded by party decorations and balloons; all of them dancing to a song that’s playing in the background.
DiVa: Ay congratulations, it’s a celebration!
Party all day, we know you’ve been waitin!
Ay congratulations, it’s a celebration!
We just wanna tell you that we think you’re amazin!
A record scratches as the song stops while Sweet Roxy stands up with her arms wide open.
Sweet Roxy: Ay congratulations, everyone! All of you! All of the tag teams of the world that were inspired by The Dollhouse to become more than just a couple of pieces of scrap that felt it would be easier to succeed in their floundering careers! Because by simply competing in the same Tournament as The Dollhouse, guess what? You’ve MADE IT! That’s right! Sure, we could pick you all apart. We could go into gruesome detail and surgically cut out every little piece that makes all of you insignificant and untalented compared to us, lay it all out on a metal plate, and make you eat it so we can cut it back out of you and do it all over again, BUT… We’re not going to do that. We’re not going to point out how horribly sad it is that literally every single one of you exist in the realm of tag team wrestling not because you have some sort of close relationship with your partners, but because you need an emotional crutch and need to leech co-dependently off of one another, BUT… We’re not going to do that. Because why be so… So NEGATIVE? Why be negative when we can exercise positivity? Isn’t that what The Dollhouse is all about? Of course all of you already know that, because you all already know everything there is to know about The Dollhouse. Right now you’re all tuning in to this, hanging on my every word, holding tightly onto your Sweet Roxy plushy, or your DiVa body pillow, or your Jonetta Stone crossbow, and you’re thinking “Gosh, should I have saved the thousands I just spent on all new improved Dollhouse merchandise that doesn’t even really look improved but The Dollhouse insisted it was?”, and we’re here to tell you right now that THOSE - along with every single one of those other choices that led you to this moment and this Tournament - are all perfect choices and should never ever be questioned again! You made the conscious decision to compete in tag team wrestling because deep down, you wanted to be like your heroes in The Dollhouse! Even if you formed a team with your brother or you formed a team before The Dollhouse existed, I think every single one of you know deep down in your heart of hearts that it was fate that brought you to us, to award you with the honor of being on the same stage as us, if only for one fleeting moment. So remind them again!
The music starts back up as The Dollhouse dances again.
DiVa: Ay congratulations, it’s a celebration!
Party all day, we know you’ve been waiting!
Ay congratulations, it’s a celebration!
We just wanna tell you that we think you’re amazin!
A record scratches again as Sweet Roxy continues speaking.
Sweet Roxy: What a wonderful day it is! What a wonderful feeling it must be to know that you’re all about to step into the biggest series of your careers! What is it? How does it work? Why was anyone allowed to compete and The Dollhouse not simply handed the Tag Team Championships? We may never know! But what we DO know is that it’s happening, right? You’re all sitting next to your beds with your hands pressed so tightly together to make sure whatever God you worship hears you loud and clear when you pray to that deity for all of this to be real and not some lucid dream you’re having. But worry not, because The Dollhouse is here to assure you that it’s as real as real as can be. In fact, if you need something to make it feel authentic, why settle for someone pinching you? You’ll feel all kinds of physical torment soon enough when the bell rings and you have the misfortune of standing across from us. Because as thrilling as it must be to make it to the dance, it doesn’t mean you’re gonna be dancing for long, if at all. It means you get to ride the high of being here PERIOD. And sure, some of you may look at us funny and actually have the audacity to feel insulted by the words coming out of my mouth right now. You’ll snarl and sneer and saying “How dare you, who have YOU beaten? What have The Dollhouse actually done???” and you know what? Point taken! Believe it or not, I, as well as the rest of The Dollhouse, completely understand your feelings that way, because we could go on about how The Dollhouse dominated the Omega Wrestling Alliance. We could talk about how we beat the likes of The Wild Boys and Ground Zero and whoever else, but who’s gonna be impressed by us beating THOSE people? Who’s gonna be impressed by us being atop of that trash mountain of a division? I don’t blame you! But here’s the thing… The story remains the same here. When The Dollhouse tears through this makeshift little tag team division like it’s wet tissue paper, nobody is gonna remember it. Nobody is gonna speak about Black Waltz anything or what The Dollhouse accomplished, because every single Tag Team competing against us for those Championships are all equally untalented, unimportant, and unmemorable. So bite your tongue before we cut it out; none of you are on our level.
Sweet Roxy tries to calm herself down.
Sweet Roxy: I’m so sorry, I’m getting a little carried away. I said NO negativity, right? This is a day for celebration, right? This is your special day, teams! I shouldn’t take that away from you! So you know what? Just to show how amazing and special you all are, I’m going to go down the list of all of our opponents and go into thorough detail about how important they are.
Roxy pulls out a long piece of paper and puts on her reading glasses that are clearly just decorative spectacles.
Sweet Roxy: Ahem… The Wild Boys… Who we beat like 8 times without losing to them…. Not much more to say about them by this point, honestly. Oh well, let’s talk in detail about the rest then… Hmm…. “Deliverance”?... “Boot Hill”?.... I’m almost certain all the rest of these teams don’t actually exist. Oh well, I tried! Congratulations anyway! Savor the flavor! Soak in the moment! This is your special day to believe you’re worthy of facing us! Relish it as much as we’re going to relish taking those Championships. Back to the song!
The music starts up yet again as Roxy, Jonetta, and DiVa dance again.
DiVa: Ay congratulations, it’s a celebration!
Party all day, we know you’ve been waitin!
Ay congratulations, it’s a celebration!
We just wanna tell you that we think you’re amazin!
Roxy and Jonetta shoot party poppers while The Dollhouse continues to dance.
DiVa: Congratulaaaaattions!
Congratulaaaaatttiions!
Sweet Roxy: Enjoy it while it lasts!
Roxy points to the cake in front of them as the camera closes in to focus on what it says before fading out while the music continues to play.
Mon Apr 15, 2024 11:28 am by 
Subject: Sweet Roxy | Celebration 